Within the last few weeks I have been pondering this question. Do I have a calling to stay here or to return home. My mentor recently told me something “We all, as Christians, are called. The real question to ask yourself is, am I called to stay? Do the reasons to stay outweigh the reasons to go? I have been reflecting on what my life here is like compared to what my life in America could look like. If I was in America, I would probably be either teaching full time or subbing in Knox County. I would be stressed with paperwork and lesson plans and classroom management methodology. I can say with almost 100% certainty that I would hate my job as a first year teacher in America.
But I don’t hate my job here. In fact, I love my job!! I have freedom to be as simple or as creative as I want to be. I can and do give each of my students one-on-one attention daily. I get to teach at a pace that enables my students to truly master the content. I get to pour all of my energy into lesson planning, instead of wasting time on paperwork, administrative work, and ect. Don’t get me wrong, I have rough days. I have days when I ask myself, “Am I doing this right?” I have days when I know the kids just didn’t get it. But my good days out number my bad. When I leave the classroom and I’m able to reflect back to the beginning and see progress. That is pure joy!
I am needed and appreciated here. I keep asking myself “do I have a reason to return home?” I’ve spent the last year slowly laying my every dream at the feet of Jesus. With every closed door, every failure and every disappointment, the grip I’ve held those dreams in has loosened. I haven’t made a decision yet, and I won’t make a decision anytime soon. I still have 7 months for God to provide me with a clear path.
Grace4Kenya 